Dating Advice, the Dating Do's & Don’ts
Etiquette, Manners & Things To Avoid When Dating
Dating Advice for Professional Singles
Select Personal Introductions is a well established professional dating agency using a non-computerised matching system, backed up by an in-house support network so that all members have the help they need for during their membership, and as we know our members personally we are able to advise you on every step of your dating requirements.
The Dating Do’s - Etiquette & Simple Manners
Let’s face it: no one is born with the knowledge of how to be a great date. We’re can be nervous, shy at first and we don’t always make a great first impression. We’ve all been through this, but you can learn through the mistakes of others so that you can be ready for any sudden changes in the “atmosphere” of the date you’re on.
- Make your introduction feel comfortable. Remember if you are feeling nervous, they are probably feeling the same.
- Keep the conversation going by finding and exploring common ground. This can be done by asking general questions in a friendly manner about interests, hobbies, recent holidays, cinema, theatre and dining out.
- Be an interested and interesting date. By being polite, attentive and showing a genuine interest in what your date is saying, you will put them at their ease. The ice will be broken and you will learn about each other in a more relaxed and enjoyable way. Be enthusiastic and positive.
- Laugh at their jokes – the good ones not the bad ones. There is nothing more embarrassing and obvious than an affected laugh – for both parties.
- Be on time. You wouldn’t like to be kept waiting so don’t do it to others. If you find you are ‘running behind’ do your utmost to let your date know and apologise immediately you meet with something like “Sorry I was unavoidably delayed”. Avoid lengthy and contrived explanations, this only makes things worse.
- Be yourself. No point in being anything else. If you put on a show to impress you are heading for a fall. Your date will ‘sus’ you sooner rather than later and the results will not be good for either of you.
- Talk about their interests as well as your own. Avoid the ‘me, me, me’ syndrome at all costs.
- Show your romantic caring side from the start – that is the purpose of all this.
- Be confident. Impossible in this situation you might say. Not so – by being yourself and following some of the advice in points two and three you will find that your confidence grows and becomes quite natural – just as is should be.
- Show respect for and towards your date – always. Courtesy manners and politeness are keywords here – they cost nothing but make a lasting impression. Treat your date as you would wish to be treated. In other words – if something would offend you, it is quite likely that it will offend them.
- Make your own way to the meeting; do not allow your date to meet you at home. This is a basic safety guideline for all members at the outset. Obviously, as the relationship develops this will no longer be necessary. Trust your instincts and don’t meet again if you have any doubts.
- Always meet in a public place for that first date – one that you are both comfortable with and which offers easy access for both parties. Avoid over-crowded noisy places so that you can spot each other easily and actually hear what each other has to say. Trying to shout over the hubbub will scupper your attempts at getting to know one another.
- Meet for coffee or a light lunch for your first date and keep it to about an hour or so. This takes the pressure off both of you but, if the meeting naturally ‘runs over’ and you both feel comfortable about it or wish to go on somewhere else, by all means, do so.
- Ladies – ‘Go Dutch’, unless the gentleman objects that is. There are split views on this but the polite thing to do is to offer. The gentleman can then either accept or decline but at least you will not have come across as a ‘gold digger’.
- If you need to cancel a date, call the other person in good time and always re-schedule the meeting.
- When you are meeting someone for the first time, feel free to leave details of the meeting with your family/friends – once again, this is basic safety guideline.
- Always arrive well-groomed – take this into account when you are arranging the date. Rushing to a meeting from work all hot and dishevelled is not the best way to begin. But, if there is no other way, freshen up before you meet and ‘catch your breath’. Take a few minutes to calm down, compose yourself and relax before you approach your date. It will be well worth it.
- Mobile phones – switch them off! It is really rude to take calls or to text someone on your mobile whilst with your date – how would you feel?
The Dating Don’ts - Things To Avoid When Dating
- Talk about yourself all night – this will eventually provoke yawns – boredom that is, not lack of air or tiredness.
- Be late. Punctuality is a virtue – especially when you are the one kept waiting.
- Talk about your ex(s) or how many dates you have met; are about to meet; hope to meet – never, never, never! This is boring, insulting to your date and will kill the conversation stone dead. You may as well walk away – YOU HAVE BLOWN IT!
- Eat with your mouth open. Ugh! Disgusting. Your date has already seen your choice of menu in a far more appealing and presentable state.
- Try to be something you are not. I know this has already been covered but it really is important – your date will see through you.
- Show disrespect for your partner or their beliefs. You wouldn’t like it – don’t do it to others.
- Forget to thank them for the date. Basic good manners but surprisingly, many who are otherwise articulate and educated seem to overlook this under worked but essential little phrase.
- Propose marriage or kids. This comes under the heading of verbal diarrhoea and will guarantee your date will finish a mile in record time – away from you that is!
- If you are a smoker, check first that your date does not mind if you smoke and be polite – do not blow smoke in their face.
- Don’t ask too many personal questions – this will come across as an interrogation and will make your date feel as though they are at a job interview.
- Don’t accept a lift to or from your chosen venue. We can’t stress this enough – basic safety again and do not give out your e-mail, home address, telephone number or work address until you are confident about your date.
- Flash your cash and splash out on a fancy dinner. This will make your date feel uneasy – out to impress but with nothing to back it up. Go easy and work up to this gradually.
- Don’t take your children along to the date – common sense???
- Don’t rush the date. I know we have advised keeping the first date to about an hour but there is no need to use a stop watch. If the meeting is going well – then keep going.
- If you need to leave, work up to it gently and politely – don’t just suddenly make an excuse about a pre-arranged business meeting or a previous arrangement with a friend. This will make your date feel that they have been ‘slotted in’ at the last minute and that meeting them is not important.
- Never use mobile phones during a date – switch them off! It really is rude to take calls on your mobile whilst with a date – again – how would you feel?
- Don’t ever just get up and leave your date- this reflects badly on you and makes them feel that they probably had a lucky escape. Gentlemen, always offer to escort the lady back to her car; train, bus or chosen mode of transport.
- Don’t wear white socks unless your date is for a game of tennis, badminton or a run to keep fit. Your appearance, grooming and choice of outfit is the image your date will take away with them.