Tips For Dating After Divorce
The thought of dating after divorce can be a nerve-wracking one, especially if you were married for many years. From feeling ready to date someone new to finding people that you could have a connection with, there’s certainly a lot to think about.
Here, we share our tips for dating after divorce and getting back out there, so you can feel confident about finding love again.
1. Consider your relationship goals
Dating after divorce can be daunting, but it gives you the opportunity to think about what you want from a relationship. Use your past experiences to highlight what was great about your marriage and the things that didn’t work out. This will help you to gain an understanding of what you should focus on when moving into another relationship.
Through considering your relationship goals before searching for potential dates, you’ll discover that it’s easier to find people that you’re truly compatible with. For example, you might be looking for someone to have a family with, a partner who’ll travel the world with you, or someone who would be happy should you choose not to remarry. Being honest about what you want is the first step to gaining confidence when dating after divorce.
2. Make sure you’re ready
There isn’t a specific time that it takes to get over a divorce, and feeling ready to date again comes at different points for different people. In fact, you may even go on a few dates thinking that you’re ready and then decide that you’re not. It’s important to really take notice of how you feel and to understand that dating new people may feel strange at first, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not ready.
Although being ready to date after divorce feels different for everyone, there are a few signs that can highlight this. For example, your feelings of hurt and anger have lessened and you’re able to speak neutrally about your ex, you don’t have an intense fear of meeting new people and being vulnerable with them down the line, and you believe that you can begin to share your life with someone again. If you have children, you may also want to consider how you’ll share with them that you’re dating again when the time comes, as this could also be something you find yourself worrying about.
3. Be positive
It can be difficult to imagine finding someone new following a divorce. However, staying positive will ensure that you have a fun and exciting dating experience when you decide it’s time to start meeting new people. Although it may be easy to dwell on the past, looking forward is the only way to ensure that you reflect your best possible self while on dates. Your marriage ended for a reason, and that doesn’t have to define your love life in the future.
Have confidence in the fact that your perfect match is out there, even when it feels like that can’t be possible. Make a list of all your best qualities to give yourself a boost, especially if you’re feeling a little nervous before a date and remain confident throughout, even if your date doesn’t have the outcome you wanted. Just because one date doesn’t end in your happily ever after, it doesn’t mean that the next one won’t. Go into dating after divorce with realistic expectations, and you’ll find that it’s a very positive step forward.
4. Use a bespoke matchmaking service
Knowing that you’re going on dates with people that you’re compatible with will take some of the stress out of dating after divorce. A bespoke matchmaking service, like the one we offer at Select Personal Introductions, can really help with this. By finding out all about you, what you’re looking for in a partner, and your relationship goals, we can ensure that you’re matched with people that you could potentially have a connection with. This can help to reduce the risk of awkward silences and having nothing in common, two things that can cause anxiety on a date.
Another benefit of using a matchmaking service after divorce is that you can be confident that the people you’re meeting are also looking for a relationship. Dating apps may have risen in popularity since you last went on a date, but they can put you at a disadvantage when it comes to meeting people that you’ll truly connect with. People tend to use a matchmaking service when they’re dedicated to finding ‘the one’, eliminating the concern that you might be wasting your time with people who don’t share your relationship goals.
5. Have fun!
Perhaps the most important tip for dating after divorce is to have fun! Spending time with people is an enjoyable activity, whether you feel a spark or not, so embrace getting out there and meeting people that you have things in common with. Plan fun dates that you’ll both enjoy and make the most of every new experience that dating after divorce brings your way.
If you’re anxious about your first date, keep these tips in mind:
- Plan a casual, relaxed date where you can have a great conversation with no pressure
- Have an open mind and go into your date ready to learn all about the person you’re meeting
- Remember that it’s ok to feel nervous, and the person you’re meeting is probably feeling the same way
- Find light-hearted topics to talk about and discover shared interests, there’s no need for intense conversation this early on
- Fully enjoy the experience, even if you don’t feel a spark. It’ll give you extra confidence going into your next date.
If you feel ready to start dating after divorce, we’d love to match you with people that you could have a potential connection with.
Apply for one of our memberships today and give us the opportunity to help you find love.