- Make your introduction feel comfortable. Remember if you are feeling nervous, they are probably feeling the same.
- Keep the conversation going by finding and exploring common ground. This can be done by asking general questions in a friendly manner about interests, hobbies, recent holidays, cinema, theatre and dining out.
- Be an interested and interesting date. By being polite, attentive and showing a genuine interest in what your date is saying, you will put them at their ease. The ice will be broken and you will learn about each other in a more relaxed and enjoyable way. Be enthusiastic and positive.
- Laugh at their jokes – the good ones not the bad ones. There is nothing more embarrassing and obvious than an affected laugh – for both parties.
- Be on time. You wouldn’t like to be kept waiting so don’t do it to others. If you find you are ‘running behind’ do your utmost to let your date know and apologise immediately you meet with something like “Sorry I was unavoidably delayed”. Avoid lengthy and contrived explanations, this only makes things worse.
- Be yourself. No point in being anything else. If you put on a show to impress you are heading for a fall. Your date will ‘sus’ you sooner rather than later and the results will not be good for either of you.
- Talk about their interests as well as your own. Avoid the ‘me, me, me’ syndrome at all costs.
- Show your romantic caring side from the start – that is the purpose of all this.
- Be confident. Impossible in this situation you might say. Not so – by being yourself and following some of the advice in points two and three you will find that your confidence grows and becomes quite natural – just as is should be.
- Show respect for and towards your date – always. Courtesy manners and politeness are keywords here – they cost nothing but make a lasting impression. Treat your date as you would wish to be treated. In other words – if something would offend you, it is quite likely that it will offend them.
- Make your own way to the meeting; do not allow your date to meet you at home. This is a basic safety guideline for all members at the outset. Obviously, as the relationship develops this will no longer be necessary. Trust your instincts and don’t meet again if you have any doubts.
- Always meet in a public place for that first date – one that you are both comfortable with and which offers easy access for both parties. Avoid over-crowded noisy places so that you can spot each other easily and actually hear what each other has to say. Trying to shout over the hubbub will scupper your attempts at getting to know one another.
- Meet for coffee or a light lunch for your first date and keep it to about an hour or so. This takes the pressure off both of you but, if the meeting naturally ‘runs over’ and you both feel comfortable about it or wish to go on somewhere else, by all means do so.
- Ladies – ‘Go Dutch’, unless the gentleman objects that is. There are split views on this but the polite thing to do is to offer. The gentleman can then either accept or decline but at least you will not have come across as a ‘gold digger’.
- If you need to cancel a date, call the other person in good time and always re-schedule the meeting.
- When you are meeting someone for the first time, feel free to leave details of the meeting with your family/friends – once again, this is basic safety guideline.
- Always arrive well groomed – take this into account when you are arranging the date. Rushing to a meeting from work all hot and dishevelled is not the best way to begin. But, if there is no other way, freshen up before you meet and ‘catch your breath’. Take a few minutes to calm down, compose yourself and relax before you approach your date. It will be well worth it.
- Mobile phones – switch them off! It is really rude to take calls or to text someone on your mobile whilst with your date – how would you feel?
Northwest based Select Personal Introductions is an exclusive and professional dating agency that can help you meet other like-minded single people and steer you clear of some of those ever embarrassing dating disasters.