How To Keep The Spark Alive

Relationships are difficult, there’s no escaping this fact. They need to be cherished and nurtured over time, not just at the beginning when everything is exciting, new and interesting. 

The start of a relationship is, of course, when it’s easy but as time goes on and you start to settle into life with each other, it’s not unheard of to find yourself in a rut… and this is often what leads to breakups – breakups that could be easily avoided with a little bit of communication, time and effort.

Yes, effort. Relationships need to be worked at if you want them to be successful and stand the test of time. It won’t just happen on its own so, if you are feeling as though the spark has gone somewhat between you and your other half, the first question you need to ask yourself is: Is this something I want to continue pursuing? Do I want my relationship to work?

If the answer is yes (and we hope that it is!), there are lots of steps you can take as a couple that can bring the magic back and make you both fall in love all over again. Here are just a few ideas from the Select Personal team to help you do just that. Which will you try first?

Put your phones down

It can be really easy to fall into the trap of sitting on the sofa at the end of the day, each of you glued to your phones and not really being in the room with one another. 

Consider scheduling one phone-free hour a day where you can sit and chat about what’s going on in your individual lives, listen to your favourite music, perhaps read a book out loud together, cook your favourite food… there’s lots you can do that doesn’t involve any tech whatsoever!

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Kiss each other… a lot!

It’s often said that kissing is the first thing that goes in a relationship, so cast your mind back and consider whether that’s true for the two of you.

If it is, perhaps it’s time to start smooching once again! Instead of a little peck as you head out of the door on your way to work, go for something a little more involved and romantic… it could certainly help set the scene for later! And we promise, the more you do it, the more you’ll want to do it!

Go on micro dates

Do you feel as though you and your other half are lacking in the fun and spontaneity department? A great way to change this quickly, especially if you’re both very busy people with lots going on in your lives, is to go on lots of micro dates.

This could be something as simple as taking the dog for a walk in your local park, or perhaps waking up early one morning to share coffee in bed, talking about what you have coming up that week. Or, if you both work near each other, heading to the gym on your lunch break for a little workout session will see you get all hot and sweaty together… which could then potentially be recreated when you both get home that evening!

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Try bids for connection

A recent study carried out by The Gottman Institute found that by turning towards your partner instead of away from them can maximise your chances of enjoying a successful long-lasting relationship.

But what does this mean exactly? Essentially, what you need to do is to make a bid for connection, whether that’s a little wink and a smile, or asking for advice or help. Apparently, women tend to make more bids than men but in a healthy relationship, both parties would be comfortable making bids of all different kinds.

Suggested bids include asking your partner to join you in learning something, going on an adventure, playing a board game of some kind, sharing the day’s events or asking them to appreciate and show interest in something you’ve accomplished.

Express gratitude

And finally, one of the best ways to reignite the spark and make you both feel appreciated and loved in your relationship (which is what will ensure it stands the test of time) is to express gratitude and appreciation for your partner, not just for what they do but for who they are.

Everyone wants to be valued, everyone wants to be seen – and if this is something that’s been lacking for either one of you, it could mean the end sooner rather than later. So start practising gratitude for one another and you could soon see your relationship hit new levels of excitement!

Looking to date Cheshire singles at the moment? Get in touch with Select Personal Introductions to see how we can help.

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