Love’s emotional baggage

Don’t confuse their Love Life Luggage with emotional baggage.

Love's emotional baggageOnce you’ve crossed the threshold of true adulthood, life will undoubtedly have handed you a few items of luggage to carry into your future. For some it’s a handful of children to love unconditionally, leaving their life divided as they share custody. A previous relationship ending with a messy divorce can be such a blemish to some they unreasonably consider them to be undateable. Don’t make the mistake of looking at a person’s love and life CV with the wrong lens. There’s something wonderful about an individual who after taking a few knocks, is ready to saddle up for the next chapter. Lifestyle expert Terri Trespicio puts it beautifully; she says it’s the handling of “these decisions that give us character. It’s how we learn anything worth knowing.”

Children – a beautiful challenge

They’ve got everything you’re looking for, beautiful on the outside and a personality that couldn’t be closer to your ideal and (or in your initial mind it’s a but) they have children. Don’t hightail it out of there fast enough to leave a dust cloud; appreciate the gem before your eyes. Here’s an individual that knows how to make someone else their priority. They no doubt have oodles of patience and can roll with the unexpected twists and turns of a romantic relationship, without losing sight of the love and responsibility they have to their children.

There’s no question, pursuing a love life with children is a challenge, whether they’re yours or theirs. It’s also true that the blessings come in huge waves. Good planning, honesty and patience as well as a great support network means that just because you have children, doesn’t mean your love life has to be a non-starter. We all have luggage to carry around, doing it with elegance and grace is an attractive character trait so if with children they are; they’re surely worth sticking around for.

Divorced – not damaged goods

With so many reasons for heading to the divorce courts, downing your drink and waving at the waiter as soon as you hear the ‘D’ word is not the way to save your heart. Instead, you may be walking away from a person that can offer you a relationship full of the kind of love that you’re looking for. Those that lived through the tumultuous nature of an ugly divorce, will testify to just how much they’ve learnt. One woman said “because I had been married and divorced, I learned what didn’t work and WHY it didn’t”. She not only saw things that would make her a better person but “knew what it took for a serious relationship to crumble”.

The next person that walks into her love life will benefit from that first hand knowledge and be able to enjoy a relationship that won’t be riddled with game playing and confusion. The openness of that kind of love is refreshing for anyone looking for more mature and serious dating. A healthy love life means you’re bound to have picked up some luggage along the way, don’t make the mistake of tarring it all as baggage, after all you wouldn’t want anyone doing that about you would you?

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