There is a lot of focus, quite rightly, on how to form healthy, positive romantic relationships. However sometimes, even with all the best will in the world, a relationship just isn’t working out. This is never an easy thing to admit, but in the long term, it can be best to move on. Here are some signs that it’s time to break up with a partner.
You don’t talk anymore
Communicating well is at the heart of a good relationship. In a healthy couple, the ebb and flow of conversation falls naturally, with each picking up on emotional cues about when to talk and when to listen. You make each other laugh and find interesting things to talk about, and enjoy one another’s company.
If this kind of easy communication is not happening, even in relaxed situations such as a walk in the park or a Friday night drink, then it is time to ask why. If there seems to be no way of finding that spark anymore, then maybe you need to admit that you have outgrown each other for whatever reason.
You don’t trust each other
Trust is a huge factor in the success of a relationship, and once it’s gone, it’s a tricky road back. It’s what makes you feel secure and supported, even when life isn’t so perfect. Harbouring suspicions about infidelities, or just not having much faith in your partner’s competence with issues such as money or childcare, is very corrosive.
On the other hand, you may find yourself keeping information from your partner for fear of judgement, or to avoid a confrontation. Any of these situations is a sign that the relationship has become strained, and you need to be honest with yourself, and figure out if it’s worth trying to find a way through it.
Your needs aren’t being met
All relationships have an element of give and take: nobody is perfect, and in a partner there are usually strengths which attracted you to them in the first place, and helped you to overlook any weaknesses. Maybe it was a case of having amazing emotional and sexual connection in the early stages of the relationship, which just isn’t there anymore.
If the positive qualities you once found in your partner are now absent or barely there, and they are no longer interested in providing them, then there is a danger that you will grow resentful, or seek them elsewhere. Ask yourself if you are wasting valuable time that could be invested in a more compatible partner.
You pick fights or argue constantly
It is common to argue, and can sometimes be a good thing, because it means you are comfortable expressing yourselves with each other. Letting conflicts fester and building up negative emotions is never a good idea. However, if you are failing to handle simple disagreements in a reasonably civilised manner, then it is a sign that something is wrong.
No one should have to deal with constant criticism, sneering, screaming matches, or silent treatment. If this is how you or your partner are reacting to conflict, there’s probably some deeper issues going on. It may be to do with unresolved negative experiences in the past that need exploring through counselling, so decide if it’s worth making the effort.
They don’t light up your imagination
When your mind wanders to what lies ahead in life, do you automatically see your partner at your side? If not, then this could be a red flag that you are subconsciously moving away from them. Maybe this has been manifesting itself by making few joint future plans, whether it is buying a house or just planning fun trips out together.
If you catch yourself wondering what it would be like to be single, or have even out of curiosity searched online for a dating agency, things are definitely not peachy!
It’s worth remembering that all relationships go through bad patches. Life can throw curveballs when we’re least expecting it, and stepping up to these challenges can use up mental and emotional energy that previously went into the relationship. Try and step back and work out objectively what’s gone wrong; easier said than done, of course!
If it’s one or more problems that have been building up for over a year, and you have previously tried to talk about them with your partner without success, then it may be best to move on. It can take courage to let go, but you will eventually be rewarded with a more fulfilling and positive relationship in the future.
Do you need help finding love this year? Get in touch with Select Personal Introductions to see how we can help you find your happily ever after.