Compromise in relationships

Compromise in relationships

Perfection isn’t an option,  so how do you compromise in relationships?

If your relationship has just transitioned from the dating phase, some of the personal habits you used to overlook may have started to grate on your nerves. Rather than question whether it’s time to throw in the towel because after they’ve showered they can’t seem to keep it off the bathroom floor, you might want to remember perfection isn’t an option.

Being professionals you both know that for any successful relationship to thrive both parties need to be heard and their input valued, after all, you see it every day in the office. Decision making and responsibility-sharing, however, can feel more like a boardroom battle as opposed to lovers banter when couples can’t compromise comfortably.

Every successful couple has faced the challenge by acknowledging perfection isn’t an option and then asking; how do you compromise in relationships?

Be open to change

During the first waves of dating, the rose-tinted glasses are on while you spend every spare moment together. Getting to know them, their interests and laying down relationship foundations ranks highest in your priorities. Your peripheral is pretty much non-existent as you take up all of each others’ personal time. Now that you want it all, career, cuddles and candlelit dinners there doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the week.

Maintaining your lives as professionals no doubt means long hours, last-minute meetings and possibly working over the weekends. When hubby is called in at 9 am on a Saturday morning, ruining your plans for brunch with the Jones’ are you taking it as a personal dig, questioning whether or not they’re really into the relationship?

Rather than expecting life to be perfect and without any curveballs coming your way, accept the change by looking at how you can practically and lovingly manage the situation (not your boo), without letting the situation manage you and your peace of mind.

Maintain a gratitude attitude

At some point in every relationship it can seem like you’re doing all the hard work and they’re enjoying a free ride off of your personal sacrifices. Sure you finished work early but instead of getting your nails done you were collecting their dry-cleaning, doing the weekly shop before rushing home to wait for the delivery they decided couldn’t possibly wait until the weekend to arrive. While you’re pointing the finger at them are you seeing the three pointing back at you?

Perhaps you’ve forgotten how they spent their bank holiday putting up the flat-packed wardrobe you ordered. What of how they endure your ranting with a compassion whenever your overseer of a boss chooses to treat your team as skivvies instead of the professionals you are? If they are catering to your needs, be grateful and not hateful for the areas where they fall short.

Perfection isn’t realistic, you can’t offer it so it’s unfair to expect it. A relationship that enjoys comfortable compromise is likely to stand the test of time. Rather than seeing things as personal affronts, adopting a ‘they’re wrong, you’re right’ attitude, focus on how you’ve both been and most importantly want to be ‘right’ independently and as a couple.

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