Dates To Avoid This Christmas


Sometimes it seems the whole world is against those of us who are looking for love. Christmas is meant to be the season to be jolly but in dating terms, it can feel like an ambush, wrapped up in misery, tied with a bow of rejection. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way!



We all know what scrooging is, don’t we? It’s when you’ve gone a certain distance in a relationship with somebody, not as far as commitment but past flirting, and then they dump you in December so they don’t have to buy you a gift. It’s most common in teenagers but online dating has spread the habit through every age and demographic. The good news? You just found out what a cheapskate they are, and saved yourself a lifetime of inadequate presents and feeble excuses. Scrooging is just the beginning of a lexicon of Christmas dating horrors. Next up, another literary character – gatsby.

GATSBYING is the manipulative habit of posting something to social media that appears honest, open and carefree but is really just to get the potential partner hooked. It comes from the habit of Jay Gatsby who threw the best parties just to try and get Daisy Buchanan to adore him. So if your new love interest keeps posting pictures of him or herself carefully posed at Christmas parties – hair perfect, glass raised and apparently having a whale of a time, they may be gatsbying you. The good news? It shows they are interested – in somebody – let’s hope it’s you!

POCKETING really shows up at Christmas. It’s the time of year when we expected to get invited to meet our new other half’s friends and family. That’s going to be complicated in 2020 but there’s plenty of ways of getting together in a socially distanced fashion that allow us to congregate safely. If you find that you’re just not being introduced to those closest to your new date, you’ve probably been pocketed. It means you’ve been put in a pocket that you only get taken out of when they want or need your company – they aren’t going to make you a full part of their life.

You’re a sideline, not the main event. Of course, at Christmas, there might be other reasons that people don’t introduce you to the family (just watch Shameless or the Royle Family!) but there’s no excuse for not meeting their friends. There’s no good side to pocketing – it’s the death knell of a significant relationship and the sooner you get out the better.

Pocketed e1607335209796

VULTURING happens a lot at Christmas, which is a time when relationships can either ramp up or fizzle out. If you’re being vultured, somebody is hanging around, waiting for your passion to cool and your partner to fade out, at that point they’ll step forward to claim the prize. While there’s nothing essentially wrong with vulturing – arguably it’s better than actively trying to trash your current partnership – it will probably end badly if you’re on the rebound because your feelings will be raw and unpredictable and you’re likely to hurt the new person or get hurt yourself. The good news? If your potential new mate is willing to take it slow, you at least know they are genuinely interested and they’ve already demonstrated that they possess patience!

Christmas couple

If all of these sound gruesome, there is an alternative – at Select Personal Introductions, we get to know our clients carefully to ensure that they are serious about seeking a relationship. It’s a process that lets us get to know them well, so we can recommend fun, fascinating, rewarding first dates. It also weeds out the trashy, flashy, shifty and miserly, because those are four pantomime dwarves you don’t need to invite to your Christmas party!

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