Virtual dating – top tips for diving into digital relationships.
COVID-19 has definitely changed most aspects of life – and although it hasn’t altered most people’s desire to meet a partner and have a great relationship, it’s definitely put a spin on the process! One issue that many of our clients are sharing with us is a feeling of self-consciousness about meeting a potential life partner whilst virtual dating. Of course, we fully understand; our match-makers offer a truly personal approach, which is what makes Select Personal Introductions so different – we don’t rely on an algorithm or a picture on an app, instead we get to know you, your interests, goals and personality. Only then do we introduce you to a carefully chosen potential partner, whom we know and understand just as well as we do you.
But love doesn’t stop because of a pandemic, so we want to help you make the best of this opportunity to get to know somebody virtually before meeting up in person.
Getting ready for virtual dating
Your psychological state is actually the most important part of a first date, but of course most of us are focused on one thing only – our appearance. And COVID-19 hasn’t helped there, has it? No hairdressers, no barbers, no tanning salons or manicures … it can be difficult to feel great if we’re not sure we look our best. But there’s a lot we can do to boost both our mood and our appearance:
- Get ahead, get a hat – or a bandana or Alice band or a beanie. Lockdown hair is a fact of life, but psychologically, we feel better about ourselves if we’ve done something to manage our hair. When one in three women avoid being in photos if they are having a bad hair day, it’s really important to take control of the hair situation.
- Pick your place with care – it turns out that you’re much more likely to make a good impression on a sunny day. A French researcher discovered that a man who asked women out got a 13.9% success rate on a cloudy day but 22.4% on a sunny one! We don’t know the mechanism: was he more confident, were the women more receptive, are people just more likely to hang around and chat in the sunshine? But in any case, it’s a great idea to reach out to your prospective partner on a sunny day, because anything that tilts things in favour of success has to be good, right? And our Edwardian ancestors knew this too: ladies used to have their parasols lined with apricot silk so that it cast a ‘sunny glow’ over their faces even in bad weather. So if it’s a grey day, don’t despair, just use a yellow, peachy or golden background for your virtual date.
- Pay a compliment – funnily enough, paying somebody else a compliment can boost your own mood and make you more optimistic. And it’s pretty likely that your virtual date is feeling just as self-conscious as you are, given our strange current circumstances.
Making connections in isolation
- Take a tour, or ask for one – on many first dates there are periods of intense self-awareness, when we have to eat or drink in front of our partner for example. For many people they are roadblocks to easy communication and that’s one reason that early dating is often something we do in busy public places, to give us lots of distractions. For virtual dating that’s not possible, but taking your prospective partner on a tour of your flat, your garden or even just your bookshelf, can remove many of those self-conscious moments where you don’t know what to do with your hands and your tongue seems too big for your mouth.
- Find your firsts together – so you’re on a first date, in a virtual space, with an absolute stranger, what to talk about? Coronavirus firsts are a great ice-breaker! So if it’s the first time you’ve cut your own fringe, or cooked paella from scratch, or started multi-player gaming, talk about those first experiences and find out what firsts have happened for your partner, this allows you to bond over shared first experiences and consider which special first experiences you might share together in future.