Understanding dealbreakers to find your perfect match
Every relationship is unique, but the importance of understanding dealbreakers is vital for every couple. A relationship dealbreaker is a non-negotiable boundary that, if crossed, would result in the end of the relationship.
Recognising and understanding your relationship dealbreakers is important for making healthy, happy connections. In this article, we discuss what relationship dealbreakers are, common dealbreakers, why they matter, and how to identify your own.
What are relationship dealbreakers?
A relationship dealbreaker is a limit or red flag that someone is unwilling to compromise on. Relationship dealbreakers differ from person to person as everyone has their own values, expectations, and priorities. When someone exhibits the behaviour that someone views as a dealbreaker, this can signal the end of the relationship.
For example, if someone values honesty and integrity above all else, they may consider dishonesty a dealbreaker. Similarly, if a person has experienced infidelity, cheating could be a relationship dealbreaker for them. Understanding your relationship dealbreakers and what you can and can’t accept in a relationship will help you find your perfect match.
Common relationship dealbreakers
While dealbreakers differ depending on the person, there are some common red flags to consider when deciding what you’re happy to accept in a relationship.
- Infidelity – Cheating and betrayal are dealbreakers for most people. Trust is vital in a healthy relationship, and it can be hard to rebuild this should it be broken.
- Dishonesty – Dishonesty can have a negative impact on a relationship regardless of whether someone is lying about small or significant matters. A lack of transparency and openness is often a dealbreaker as people need to know they can trust their partner and the things they say.
- Abuse – Any form of abuse, whether it be physical, verbal, or emotional, is a serious dealbreaker in a relationship. Physical violence, verbal attacks, and emotional manipulation are harmful and often have long-term negative effect.
- Lack of communication – Healthy communication is essential in any relationship. A partner who fails to communicate openly or dismisses your feelings can make it hard to fully connect with them.
- Disrespect – Disrespect is a dealbreaker for many people. If one partner disrespects the other, whether through insults, neglect, or dismissive actions, it’s a sign that the relationship is unhealthy, which can lead to resentment.
- Different values – If people have different values and life goals, such as one wanting children while the other doesn’t, it can create tension in the relationship and lead to arguments. While some differences can be worked through via compromise, others may be considered dealbreakers.
- Lack of effort – Relationships require effort, and a lack of commitment to the relationship can be a dealbreaker for some people. Consider the level of effort you’d like from a partner and what this looks like to you, as this will help you understand the amount of effort you’re willing to accept.
Why dealbreakers matter
Recognising and respecting relationship dealbreakers is vital in maintaining healthy relationships for numerous reasons, these include:
- Promoting self-respect: Recognising your dealbreakers helps you establish and maintain personal boundaries. These boundaries are necessary for self-respect and ensuring you don’t lose your core values when seeking a relationship.
- Encourages compatibility: Dealbreakers help to identify whether the people in a relationship are truly compatible. If both partners share similar values, they’re more likely to form a healthy connection. Overlooking dealbreakers can lead to resentment and frustration, so it’s important to put your values first when finding your perfect partner.
- Prevents toxic relationships: Ignoring either your own or your partner’s dealbreakers can lead to toxic relationships where one, or both of you, are unhappy. Open communication can help you understand each other’s red flags and make an informed decision about whether you think it’s worth pursuing a relationship.
- Enables clear decision making: Understanding your dealbreakers can help you make difficult relationship decisions. Knowing when to walk away from a relationship that doesn’t align with your values is vital when searching for your perfect match.
Identifying your relationship dealbreakers
Identifying your relationship dealbreakers requires self-reflection and a clear understanding of your values and expectations. Here are some steps to help you highlight your red flags:
Reflect on past relationships – Take some time to think about previous relationships and identify issues or behaviours you found unacceptable and would now class as dealbreakers. Learning from past experiences can help you find the perfect match.
Evaluate your core values – To identify the values most important to you in a relationship, consider qualities like honesty, trust, loyalty, respect, and communication. These are common values people look for when choosing a partner and can help you form your own preferences.
Assess your relationship goals – Determine your long-term relationship goals and how important they are to you. For example, if you want to get married or have children, a partner who does not share those desires could be a dealbreaker. Sometimes people find their goals change when they meet the perfect partner, so try to keep an open mind around anything that isn’t a definite dealbreaker.
Listen to your gut – Your intuition can be a powerful guide and if something doesn’t feel right in the relationship, it’s usually worth exploring this further. Trusting your gut can help you avoid situations where dealbreakers occur.
Understanding your dealbreakers is vital for maintaining a healthy, respectful, and balanced relationship. Standing by your dealbreakers and communicating them to your partner is crucial for building a strong relationship. While no relationship is perfect, being clear about red flags will help you navigate conflicts and challenges effectively and ensure you’re with someone who aligns with your values.
At Select Personal Introductions, we ensure we ask about your relationship dealbreakers as this helps us to find your perfect match. Through understanding our members’ red flags, we can match those that are truly made for each other.
Find out more about our matchmaking service and sign up for a membership today.