All-Important First Date

Confident but Not Too Confident: Tips for the All-Important First Date

You probably don’t have to be told that a first date is critical. Not to contribute to the pressure, but all evening your companion will be sizing you up, weighing whether or not you’re right for an exclusive relationship. To make the most of this unnerving situation, keep the following advice in mind. If you do, you should utterly succeed.


Make any necessary reservations at least a week in advance.  On the day of the rendezvous allow plenty of time to shower, shave, apply perfume or cologne, and do whatever else you must to look and feel your best. Be certain to wear clean and pressed clothes. Make sure you leave yourself plenty of time to get to the venue.


It’s natural to feel jittery before a first date. To put yourself in the right frame of mind, you might try a few relaxation techniques beforehand. Listen to your favourite music, songs that lift your spirits and make you feel at peace. Call a friend or relative who has a knack for cheering you up. Imagine yourself from a third-person point of view entering the restaurant — or wherever you’re going — and charming the attractive person by your side, making him or her smile and laugh.

Focus on the Other Person

Ask your date plenty of questions about his or her interests and life. Just don’t make your queries too personal. And make an effort to pose open-ended questions rather than questions prompting one-word responses. Here is a decent question: “What do you like about your job?” And here’s a not-so-great question: “Do you like your job?”

Whatever you do, do not merely go on and on about yourself. As a corollary to this tip, never try to catch a glimpse of your reflection when you’re around this person, and certainly do not let him or her catch you stealing a glance at any other singles who happen to be around.

Display Confidence, Not Cockiness

Confidence is appealing. With that in mind, sit up tall, keep your head raised, speak up, and look him or her in the eyes when either of you speaks. Smile often and do your best to appear loose and at ease. Just as important, do not disparage yourself in either overt or subtle ways. When discussing your professional position, for instance, do not begin with a phrase like “Oh, I’m just a….”

At the same time, overdoing your confidence can poison your introduction. Therefore, don’t flaunt jewellery or other expensive possessions. Don’t brag about anything you’re doing or have done in the past.

In short, to succeed on a first date — or on a twentieth date — speak forthrightly the entire time and be considerate. Your many positive qualities are sure to shine through.

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